Sometimes I start to wonder, why am I so affected by what you did? Is it a habit or is it because of the feelings I still have for you. I’m not sure either. It’s so confusing and hard to explain and understand.

Getting really sick and tired of the mind games you’re playing, it’s a total mental drainage. You’ve turned into someone without a mind. Maybe like what people always say, “people change with time” but instead of changing for the better, well, I see you that you’ve changed for the worse.

The so called friends you have, the clique you call, drifting away from you. Even your new found friends are drifting away. Maybe because of the kind of “fun” you bring about attracts opposite sex to you, and most probably you don’t mind those attention because it’s from the opposite sex.

I feel so restricted now, it’s like I’m not supposed to even say a single thing; it is my own account, and I’m not supposed to express how I really feel. Where are my rights? Must you always go against me? After all that I’ve done and given you, now this is the way you treat me.

Well, not only has what I’ve mentioned above given me problems, I can feel my body failing me now. During training today, while paddling, I felt sharp piercing pain in my left knee. It was very scary, it happened so suddenly. I was kind of lost, and I didn’t know what to expect. The next thing I thought of was someone else I knew of who also had knee problem, and I definitely don’t want the same thing to happen to myself.

Not only is my knee giving me problem, my shoulder ache so much till it gets tender with touch, ankle isn’t any better, putting it in certain position will trigger pain, now even my left calf is giving me problems, the cramp that I had yesterday left this sore on it, till now, it hurts.

Overuse injuries seems like it has become a norm for me now, abrasions are starting to love me too. Been getting one too many, mother saw those on my chest and she asked if I was okay, and where did those things come from. Mom, don’t you worry, I’ll not hurt myself intentionally because of some break up I’ve been going through.

Well, you’re nothing but a debt in my life, draining me of whatever I currently have.