I shouldn’t have let myself into such situation.

Everything is happening like a vicious cycle, a very vicious one.

Fuck without emotions and feelings; keep it as just causal act.

I need to learn to detach myself from these emotions that I’m feeling for this guy. It’s really time for me to learn that it’s not going to bring me anywhere but just plain torture.

Because in this game of love, I’m playing by his rules, not mine, not ours.

We do things that he wants, when he likes it. He asks, I meet, he says okay, and then we do things or go out.

But when I do the same, it’s another story. I too don’t want to be like that, I really don’t. I don’t want things to go on repeat all over again, it’s sickening.

I have the same image on compare in my mind; the same things happening when it’s on the good times and when it’s on the bad. And yea, the outcome is so different. One brings me over cloud nine; the other just sinks me to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.

He’s been the one who makes me smile and make me feel so loved, but at the same time, he’s the one who breaks my heart and smacks me with that harsh truth. He gave me the strength and faith in myself, and yet, he is my nemesis too.

I would be lying if I said I’ll love you without expecting anything,
I’m not a saint, I do expect.
And all I expect is just mere reciprocation.